What Could You Forgive

What Could You Forgive

Source: Metaphysical Milkshake | S1 E22 (Listen: 40 min) | **SUBSCRIPTION NEEDED

Contributor: Selena Garcia

 
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Forgiveness is not a denial, minimization, or justification of the crime that was done to you. Forgiveness is basically a decision that you make to drop the grudge, acts of violence and revenge, and you take control of your happiness and freedom.” – Rais Bhuiyan

This is an extraordinary story of forgiveness. One that I hope most of us won’t be faced with. But regardless of position, you’ll see how forgiveness is a process.

“Could you forgive the worst thing anybody has ever done to you? Rainn Wilson and Reza Aslan sit down with Rais Bhuiyan, who founded World Without Hate, a nonprofit focused on forgiveness, after he reconciled with the man who shot him in the face in a vicious hate crime.”

This will be a story you file away. One that will offer you a place to start should forgiveness be on your heart and mind.


Forgiveness is not a weakness. It is not that there’ll be no justice, that there’ll be no retribution.” - Rais Bhuiyan


(28:00) RAIS: “Forgiveness is not a denial, minimization or justification of the crime that was done to you. Forgiveness is basically a decision that you make to drop the grudge, acts of violence and revenge, and you take control of your happiness and freedom back to you. Which may open up an opportunity for your perpetrator to come back to you to reconcile, to understand what went wrong, and how it could have been prevented, and how can we move forward so that it doesn’t happen again.”

(28:41) RAINN: “Please don’t take this the wrong way—is it easier to forgive someone who shoots you in the face, then like a cousin who is mean to you when you were eleven.”

REZA: “It’s different when it’s like a loved one or a family member.”

(29:38) RAIS: “Yeah, it’s a very good question because it is easy to forgive someone you didn’t know. Like a stranger… you say ‘you know what, this guy didn’t know me. I just forgive him.’ It’s easy. But it is extremely tough, and painful, heartbreaking when it is your loved one, whom you loved so much, showed so much respect and took good care of and then at some point this person stabbed you in the heart, and made fun of you and disrespected you – it’s a deeper cut. Which I had—my fiancé left me when I needed her the most, when I was shot in the face. I was in that situation, that ‘how could you leave me? You promised me that you will be the last person in this world to leave me, and now I need you, and you are gone?’”

RAIS: “Forgiveness is a process, you need to take time. I was extremely heartbroken, I was more insulted more than the shooting when my heart was broken, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt this was the end of the world. But then I took time, I went through the process, and I realized she already moved on, she already left. Nothing good will come out if I tried to revive, I tried to bring her back. It will only cause more pain and more suffering. Let her go, let her be happy. And I rebuild my life, find a purpose in my life, and do good. When people try to harm you, try to put you down, you do good and show them that you are better than that.”

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