“It’s not your fault what happened to you, but it is your responsibility to do something about it.”
If you’re here, these next steps will be the adventure of your life. The hardest part is knowing where to start. Start here:
TOOLS
R.A.I.N
by Tara Brach
This is an acronym and tool for bringing mindfulness and compassion to emotional difficulty. Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture.
Tara is a spiritual teacher with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and blends Eastern and Western approaches for inner transformation. Her site has woo-woo vibes, but don’t let that stop you. She has grit, a sense of humor, and is a well of knowledge.
Even if you don’t vibe with her, or her site, the acronym R.A.I.N. is a MIGHTY tool.
The Work
by Byron Katie
“As we do The Work of Byron Katie, not only do we remain alert to our stressful thoughts—the ones that cause all the anger, sadness, and frustration in our world—but we question them, and through that questioning the thoughts lose their power over us. Great spiritual texts describe the what—what it means to be free. The Work is the HOW. It shows you exactly how to identify and question any thought that would keep you from that freedom.”
(Download a free worksheet)
ENGAGING AT THE PHYSICAL LEVEL
“Animals do the best job at handling stress. Let’s say a zebra is running away form a lion—it will run away, outrun the lion, and then you’ll see an amazing physiological response in the zebra. The zebra will start shaking and breathing really hard. That is the body integrating that trauma, that stress, and releasing it. But we humans, we’re so sophisticated and so stubborn, that we hold in that stress. And we tuck it in and we try to file it or sweep it under the rug, and then that stress comes out as anxiety later as a disproportionate response to something else in the future. So really, the take-home for us is going to be paying close attention to what the stories are that are attached to our stress and to our anxiety. Because that’s what continues perpetuating it through our life.” - Dr. Christian Gonzalez N.D.
INTERNAL SENSATIONS
“When we’re triggered, our body is going to be doing some very specific things; it’s going to brace, it’s going to retract, it’s going to stiffen, it’s going to collapse. If we can become aware of those internal sensations––that’s the key, internal sensations––then we can have enough distance to it and renegotiate it. One of the important things—when our bodies are primed for trauma––that we need to be able to do is find new experiences in our bodies that basically contradict those of fear, terror, rage, and overwhelming helplessness.” – Peter Levine: #39 Waking The Tiger – Peter Levine, Ph.D. | Being Human Podcast
If you need to cry/wail/sob/moan, let what naturally arises happen. If your body shakes, your hands tighten, or you feel the need to let the energy out by hitting something, hit a pillow or swing in the air. Don’t do anything that harms you or someone else. This energy moving through is a natural process of our animal selves. Allowing the physical energy to move through you mindfully vs in a reactionary way is very important. The fact that most of us have not been taught about this, and how to incorporate a full body experience of releasing stress, is mind boggling. It’s powerful!
“There was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.”
This page is continuously updated when new information is found we think you’d appreciate.