Become an Emotion Scientist
Become an Emotion Scientist
Source: "Permission to Feel" | Marc Brackett, Ph.D.
Contributor: Selena Garcia
“There’s a science to understanding emotion. It’s not just a matter of intuition, opinion, or gut instinct. We are not born with an innate talent for recognizing what we or anyone else is feeling and why. We all have to learn it.” – Marc Brackett, P.h.D.
We know that emotions, feelings, and moods are information, but most of us don't know how to interpret or communicate this information. It turns out that developing our language for the things we feel can help us regulate our emotions as a whole.
The good news is, we can all learn how to sharpen our emotional skills, regardless of age.
So, how do we do this? In his book Permission to Feel , Marc Brackett, P.h.D, introduces us to RULER— "an evidence-based approach to social and emotional learning (SEL) developed at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence."
It may seem like this book targets schools and educators, but we are forever students and the world is our classroom. Emotions matter, and RULER can help make sense of the many different directions they pull us in.
“You could be brilliant, with an IQ that Einstein would envy, but if you’re unable to recognize your emotions and see how they’re affecting your behavior, all that cognitive firepower won’t do you as much good as you might imagine.” – Marc Brackett, Ph.D.
What does RULER stand for?
“RECOGNIZE our own emotions and those of others, not just in the things we think, feel, and say but in facial expressions, body language, vocal tones, and other nonverbal signals.”
“UNDERSTAND those feelings and determine their source—what experiences actually caused them—and then see how they’ve influenced our behaviors.”
“LABEL emotions with a nuanced vocabulary.”
“EXPRESS our feelings in accordance with cultural norms and social contexts in a way that tries to inform and invites empathy from the listener.”
“REGULATE emotions, rather than let them regulate us, by finding practical strategies for dealing with what we and others feel.”
There’s, of course, much more context on RULER in the book.
“Strong, negative emotions (fear, anger, anxiety, hopelessness) tend to narrow our minds—it’s as though our peripheral vision has been cut off because we’re so focused on the peril that’s front and center. There’s actually a physiological side to this phenomenon. When these negative feelings are present, our brains respond by secreting cortisol, the stress hormone. This inhibits the prefrontal cortex from effectively processing information, so even at a neurocognitive level our ability to focus and learn is impaired. To be sure, moderate levels of stress—feeling challenged—can enhance our focus. It’s chronic stress that’s toxic and makes it biologically challenging to learning.” (pg. 28)
“You could be brilliant, with an IQ that Einstein would envy, but if you’re unable to recognize your emotions and see how they’re affecting your behavior, all that cognitive firepower won’t do you as much good as you might imagine.” (pg. 49)
“Our most important mental functions have an emotional aspect, even if they seem to be purely in the realm of ‘cognition.’ And those factors determine significant real-life outcomes—our relationships, our performance, our decision making, even our physical health. Our feelings encourage us to treat the people we care about with love and respect or disregard their needs and wishes; help us focus our thinking or distract us; fill us with enthusiasm and energy or deplete our will; open us up to the outside world or wall us off from it. Feelings motivate us to do things that improve our lives and those of the people around us, but they can also adversely influence our actions—without us even realizing it. In fact, that’s when we’re most vulnerable to emotion’s impact: when we fail to detect it.” (pg 49)
“Only by becoming emotion scientists will we learn the skills to use our emotions wisely. Not suppress them or ignore them—in fact, just the opposite. We’ll no longer be controlled by feelings we may not even perceive. We’ll also be able to help the people we interact with—loved ones, colleagues—manage theirs.” (pg. 50)
CHECK THE BOOK OUT, HERE.
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