Pause
“Your whole biochemistry and perspective shifts with a 20-second pause.” - Tara Brach
It might be the last thing you want to do, but when we're IN IT, we often act in ways that stop us from getting what we really want. We rush into action to remove the pain, to remove the problem and obstacle, and miss meeting our needs. Pausing allows us to strengthen our ability to catch ourselves.
We’ve been conditioned to avoid and to be afraid of emotional pain. By doing so we often create dysfunction in our lives. Resiliency becomes about learning how to pause and sit in one’s own skin. To remember that even when we feel bad, it doesn’t mean we’re bad.
To be human is to feel, yet many of us are not taught how to do this.
“We have strong conditioning not to pause, but we also have this capacity to stop. And it's to me an evolutionary marker. It's one of the big markers in our evolutionary unfolding.” – Tara Brach
(4:17) “There are two main related reasons why it’s really, really hard to pause, and one of them is that we’re completely habituated to activity. We are on automatic, and it’s just our program; we’re kind of in a doing trance. The second reason, totally related, is that much of that doing is driven by our primitive brain that’s saying ‘somethings wrong, I need to do something, so I’m ready for what’s around the corner. Something’s missing; I need to do stuff so I can make sure I get it.’ We’re driven by the more primitive parts of our brain, and so it’s very difficult to pause. Those primitive-driven-doings at least give us a sense of controlling things. We manage threats and go for advantages by doing.”
(7:27) “We need to mentally pause. We need to stop the incessant narrative; the stories going on in our mind to have space where a deeper kind of wisdom can move through us.”
(9:03) “The challenge in pausing is that when we pause, when we just stop, while it creates space for light to move through, first, it creates a space to feel the vulnerability that’s there. We have to be willing to feel the kind of hum of vigilance and anxiety, and try to make peace with that. And then we can find space for the light to move through.”
(9:46) “Experiment and notice when you just stop in the middle of things the incredible push there is to regroup and get back into action. There is an anxiety and a restlessness in us. So instead of pausing when we’re stressed, we do the exact opposite, which is the primitive brain driving us into activity to defend ourselves or to grasp. We end up instead of pausing, being engaged with doings that cause harm. They lock us into a feeling of a self that’s in trouble, that’s deficient, that needs to keep doing.”
(12:03) "We get caught in behaviors that because we didn't pause and come back to what I think of as our more evolved sense of our being, we behave in ways we regret.
"It's incredibly powerful to be able to stop."
(18:35) "We have strong conditioning not to pause, but we also have this capacity to stop. And it's to me an evolutionary marker. It's one of the big markers in our evolutionary unfolding."
(26:05) "Your whole biochemistry, and your whole perspective shifts with a 20-second pause."
(28:27) "A 15-minute pause, the classic time out, your adrenalin gets absorbed back into the system in a certain way––in 15 minutes. The frontal cortex becomes more engaged."
(34:37) "It's radical to pause in the times we most need pausing. When we most need it is when we're most stressed."
WATCH OR LISTEN TO THE FULL TALK, HERE. (52 min)
“How do we move to a greater level of consciousness? Simply by not reacting to our environment; by learning how to pause, self-regulate, and wait for the chemicals to settle down before we act. This is how we outgrow victimization, judgement, competition, or the need to gossip or misrepresent someone else.” - Dr. Joe Dispenza
Things to do in a moment of pausing:
Vocalize “stop,” or “pause, or “hold up", and breathe out. Whatever the word of choice, whatever helps you catch yourself in this moment and refrain from reacting, is powerful. It is the closest thing to hitting the Pause button on life.
Take a few deep breaths: breathe in for 3, hold for 4, breathe out for 5.
Often, we can catch ourselves while moving quickly into being present, especially when emotions are moving fast and furiously. As long as you refrain from reacting and grasping in that moment, you will keep yourself from spiraling down. Just let what naturally arises move through you.
Pausing is a legit habit you want to form. Coming soon on The Inner Citizen, tools + resources to help you be present.
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