Why we get mad—and why it’s healthy
Why we get mad—and why it’s healthy
Source: Ryan Martin | TEDxFondduLac (Watch: 13 min)
Contributor: Selena Garcia
“ANGER IS A POWERFUL AND HEALTHY FORCE IN YOUR LIFE. IT’S GOOD THAT YOU FEEL IT. YOU NEED TO FEEL IT.” - RYAN MARTIN
How many times have you stopped to think about anger? If you're Ryan Martin, an anger researcher, the answer is all the time. But for the average person, like you and I, probably not too often. Even when we experience anger, whether we experience it a little or a lot, rarely do we stop to think of the cognitive process behind it.
It’s been said that having the ability to understand our feelings while building our vocabulary around them can help us regulate them better. So here, we aim to understand anger, and learn how it can be channeled into something positive and productive.
“I LIKE TO THINK OF ANGER AS A MOTIVATOR. THE SAME WAY YOUR THIRST MOTIVATES YOU TO GET A DRINK OF WATER, THE SAME WAY YOUR HUNGER MOTIVATES YOU TO GET A BITE TO EAT, YOUR ANGER CAN MOTIVATE YOU TO RESPOND TO INJUSTICE.” - RYAN MARTIN
“I have a lot of conversations with people about their anger and it's through those conversations that I've learned that many people see anger as a problem. You see the way it interferes in your life, the way it damages relationships, maybe even the ways it's scary. And while I get all of that, I see anger a little differently, and today, I want to tell you something really important about your anger, and it's this: anger is a powerful and healthy force in your life. It's good that you feel it. You need to feel it.”
“Now whether it's minor or major, whether it's general or specific, we can look at these examples and we can tease out some common themes. We get angry in situations that are unpleasant, that feel unfair, where our goals are blocked, that could have been avoided, and that leave us feeling powerless. This is a recipe for anger. But you can also tell that anger is probably not the only thing we're feeling in these situations. Anger doesn't happen in a vacuum. We can feel angry at the same time that we're scared or sad, or feeling a host of other emotions.”
“If there's one thing I want you to remember from my talk today, it's this: your anger exists in you as an emotion because it offered your ancestors, both human and nonhuman, with an evolutionary advantage. Just as your fear alerts you to danger, your anger alerts you to injustice. It's one of the ways your brain communicates to you that you have had enough. What's more, it energizes you to confront that injustice.”
“But here's the good news. You are capable of something your nonhuman ancestors weren't capable of. And that is the capacity to regulate your emotions.”
There’s much more context you don't want to miss and it’s only 13 minutes of your time!
WATCH THE FULL TALK, HERE. (13 min)
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