The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage
The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage
Source: Susan David | TEDWomen2017 (Watch: 16 min)
Contributor: Selena Garcia
“RESEARCH ON EMOTIONAL SUPPRESSION SHOWS THAT WHEN EMOTIONS ARE PUSHED ASIDE OR IGNORED, THEY GET STRONGER. LIKE THAT DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE CAKE IN THE REFRIGERATOR—THE MORE YOU TRY TO IGNORE IT, THE GREATER ITS HOLD ON YOU.” - SUSAN DAVID
Without even realizing it, at some point in our lives, in some way, shape, or form, we've tried to put on that metaphorical bubble wrap. As much as we try to escape them—at times, or on the reg—emotions are impossible to avoid. They are a biological certainty.
Susan David, notes: "I've had hundreds of people tell me what they don't want to feel. They say things like, 'I don't want to try because I don't want to feel disappointed.' Or, 'I just want this feeling to go away.'
"'I understand,' I say to them. 'But you have dead people's goals. Only dead people never get unwanted or inconvenienced by their feelings.'"
Not running from that truth.
How can we build our emotional skillsets not only to survive but to thrive, even when emotions feel incredibly overwhelming? Practice.
“DISCOMFORT IS THE PRICE OF ADMISSION TO A MEANINGFUL LIFE” - SUSAN DAVID
“Research on emotional suppression shows that when emotions are pushed aside or ignored, they get stronger. Psychologists call this amplification. Like that delicious chocolate cake in the refrigerator—the more you try to ignore it, the greater its hold on you. You might think you're in control of unwanted emotions when you ignore them, but in fact they control you. Internal pain always comes out. Always. And who pays the price? We do. Our children, our colleagues, our communities.”
“When you feel a strong, tough emotion, don't race for the emotional exits. Learn its contours, show up to the journal of your hearts. What is the emotion telling you? And try not to say ‘I am,’ as in, ‘I'm angry’ or ‘I'm sad.’ When you say ‘I am’ it makes you sound as if you are the emotion. Whereas you are you, and the emotion is a data source. Instead, try to notice the feeling for what it is: ‘I'm noticing that I'm feeling sad’ or ‘I'm noticing that I'm feeling angry.’ These are essential skills for us, our families, our communities. They're also critical to the workplace.”
“Diversity isn't just people, it's also what's inside people. Including diversity of emotion. The most agile, resilient individuals, teams, organizations, families, communities are built on an openness to the normal human emotions.”
WATCH THE FULL TALK, HERE. (16 min)
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